December 2007
21 posts
“We’re like some high-paid prostitutes anyway in this league, man. They...”
– -Jason Williams, not realizing that “White Chocolate” is, at best, a middle-class prostitute name. http://www.miamiherald.com/594/story/357088.html
“I think in other cities, you may be able to pull off G.M.-coach, but I don’t...”
– Isiah Thomas, 11/9/04
Every Day Should Be Saturday, on Funyuns →
I love descriptions of gross snack food and American piggishness
Bill Cosby sings the Beatles.
An Open Letter to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer →
srini vs. vamsi
vamsi: i needed light bulbs, milk, and toilet paper
srinip: hippie: cfls, organic non-pasteurized, recycled tp
srinip: evil: halogen, whole, four-ply
srinip: indian: none, goat, hands
srinip: college: lava, berkeley farms chug, costco brand
The film has some story problems. →
A Google search for “I am legend” and “goes downhill” yields 862 results.
Dustin Hermanson and Matt Herges Get New Jobs →
Matt Herges was implicated in the Mitchell Report last week. Here’s a take on his performance from 2004:
HERGES: Hang on, buddy! Here comes the ol’ Heimlich maneuver. (HERGES wraps his hands around HERMANSON’s throat and begins strangling him. HERMANSON struggles briefly, then collapses.) No! Why, God, why? (In frustration, HERGES throws his whistle through the air at 85 MPH,...
“If anybody was on steroids, they were on the wrong stuff, because they...”
– Former Marlins manager John Boles, on allegations that bullpen catcher Luis Perez provided steroids to Florida players from 1998-2001.
3 tags
A Lucia Day Chat
sean: happy lucia day!
sean: i learned about that in our third grade play
sean: in which i played an elf who was disillusioned by christmas
juliana: wow, deep shit for third grade
sean: it was just an excuse for pairs of children to come and demonstrate what christmas around the world looks like
sean: the one line i remember was, "Guten tag, Elf"
sean: i also delivered a monologue about my christmas ennui
sean: reading the paper
sean: i guess, the north pole times?
sean: and i hadn't yet kicked my speech impediment
sean: "look at the wowld! waws, contwoverthy, political thcamth!"
sean: spoiler alert:
sean: at the end, i decide that christmas is meaningful after all
sean: and me and santa hug
juliana: santa and I hug
sean: no, this elf was really disillusioned with grammar
sean: because of all the contwovewthy at the MLA
Allen and Sean talk about the War, from 2003
sean: but, yeah... one advantage bush, etc,. have is a clear message
sean: saddam is evil
sean: good vs. evil
sean: safety
sean: whereas it seems like liberals want to include everything in their protests
allen: whereas the antiwar camp is like, bush is ... you see there's these corporations ... arctic drilling ... guns! cheney hiding semi-coherent affirmative bake sale huh?
sean: capitalism and the UN and the election and oil companies and halliburton and...
allen: i wish vegans wouldn't protest veganism at antiwar demonstrations
allen: or actually ever
1 tag
Interview With Dave Attell →
Interview with Dave Attell, who I got to perform with way back in 2000.
Eating a Dead Horse →
I never sunk as low as this author does with Crazy Bread, but I can certainly empathize with his spirit of gluttony. And Granny Goose chips were delicious.
