February 2008
51 posts
“I think that politicians are out of touch with the country because the country...”
– Sammy Wegent. (See Sammy in Hell to the Chief, this weekend at the Purple Onion.)
January 2008
65 posts
Bill Clinton: The Uranium Broker of Kazakhstan →
Back in 2005, Bill Clinton traveled to Kazakhstan with a guy named Frank Giustra, who was trying to obtain an exclusive contract to mine in some uranium reserves controlled by the government. The second-highest bidder was Borat’s retarded brother Bilo. Clinton and Giustra had dinner with the Kazakhstan president-for-life, Nursultan Nazarbayev, followed by a wrestling match that ended with...
Mildly Attractive Librarian Calendar →
Because we’ve all had that librarian fantasy. (HT to Michele.)
Life After the Punchline
Vidya: what are your post punchline life/career thoughts
Sean: clearly, it is all downhill from here
Vidya: even my life is now downhill
Vidya: now that i've seen you there
Vidya: basically, this friendship is over
Vidya: is what im trying to say
State of the Union vs. xXx: State of the Union →
In honor of this week’s State of the Union address, here’s my 2006 breakdown of Bush’s State of the Union address versus Lee Tamahori’s xXx: State of the Union.
C-Webb! →
unnamedplayer:Why would you add a slow / soft big man to this Warriors team? My theory: to improve the locker room culture. Now everyone has someone to make fun of… It’s unfortunate that the Warriors slogan is no longer “It’s a great time out!”
The Critics Weigh In On National Peanut Butter Day
Critic: Those pb chocolate chip cookies looked so good Critic: It made me want to eat my laptop monitor
WatchThis guy has got a HORRIBLE attitude.
“Working as a paralegal was making me steady money, but I knew the minute I had a...”
– Patton Oswalt, on standup comedy
Watch— unnamedplayer
Old Proposals From Mike Spiegelman →
Cat that takes bong-hits and types →
From Kaspar Hauser’s Khraigslist Missed Connections parody.
Shakes vs. Officer Toughkins (from the Zembla... →
In honor of MLK Day, here’s a story from 2005 about my run-ins with the law, that touches on MLK Day. An excerpt: “My mom has teddy bears for every conceivable holiday. For Christmas, there are Santa bears, reindeer bears, mostly wearing red and geen doll clothes. For Valentine’s Day, the house is decorated with bears holding or wearing hearts. There are Thanksgiving bears,...
Bottom Line: Annoying
I started watching the Roger Federer Australian Open match near the end of the second set, and watched it the rest of the way through. ESPN2 showed the fourth and fifth sets virtually commercial-free, rewarding viewers, some who were up at 3 AM on the East Coast. They also may have acknowledged that real serious tennis fans would probably just TiVo it. I enjoyed the lack of interruptions, but...
Watch The Chris Garcia Comedy Explosion! February 22nd, 10pm Dark Room Theater, San Francisco, Ca. $10 Buy tickets today at www.brownpapertickets.com — chrisgarcia
Permanent Monday →
It is my hope that this site has indeed returned with its in-depth analysis of the day’s Garfield comic strip. The deconstructionist essays are entertaining, and have actually heightened my appreciation for Garfield. In the interest of full disclosure, I must disclose that Garfield and I share a birthday. Here’s an excerpt from Canis Complexo Cattus: Affection in Garfield is an...
“FUCK ALL Y’ALL”
– Brad Renfro’s tattoo, inked two days before his death
Omphaloskepsis →
This word came up at the office this morning. Contemplating one’s navel as an aid to meditation. Using omphaloskepsis in conversation is a good way to say, “Hey! I went to college!”
R.I.P., Brad Renfro →
My friend Ashley used to have a big crush on Brad Renfro; watched “The Client” over and over, saw “Tom and Huck” and “Apt Pupil” in the theaters. Today, Ashley mourns for you, Brad Renfro. Note of bitter irony from article: Renfro, a native of Tennessee, began acting in skits for the anti-drug group DARE at his school.
The New Yorker on Scientology and Celebrities →
“It is obvious what would happen to America if we helped its leaders to help others. Project Celebrity is part of that program. It is obvious what would happen to Scientology if prime communicators benefitting from it would mention it now and then.” The piece concludes with a list of the day’s stars—Orson Welles, Howard Hughes, Walt Disney, and Greta Garbo among them—referring to them as “game”...
Crazy Tom Cruise Crazily Discusses Crazy... →
Fantastic video of Tom Cruise and his thoughts on Scientology. Sorry this isn’t embeddable; the Church seems to have gone after individual uploads for this one, as well as other indoctrination videos on YouTube. Worth it just to watch how Tom Cruise laughs. ”That’s why the story of Tom Cruise, Scientologist, has only just begun.” - Scientological narrator
“Our cases are always the same. There’s, at most, ten crimes that people...”
– An attorney in my office. (Here’s what mayhem means from a legal standpoint.)
Dude, Where's My Keys? →
There’s insult to injury, injury to insult, and then there’s losing in the first round of the playoffs as a number one seed, and misplacing your keys afterward.
