November 2008
59 posts
I've Got Beaver Fever
I used to coach a recreational kids swim team in Martinez. We were called the Forest Hills Beavers, and I was the head coach. And on swim meet days, I wore my official team shirt, which said, “Forest Hills Swim Team” on the back and “I’VE GOT BEAVER FEVER” on the front. Sometimes I would go out right after swim meets, without changing clothes, not thinking about...
“Some people spit metaphors, but I spit metafives.”
– Bobb’e J. Thompson freestyling on Carson Daly. That line was so good that I googled it to see if he got it from some other rapper. Not only was that line not in Google, he straight up invented the term “metafive” on the spot. (via dalasverdugo)
Bobb’e J. Thompson is our greatest hope for the...
Rogue State →
Someone is finally telling it like it is about Delaware. From The New Republic in 2002:
In what one delegate described as “the most intemperate speech uttered in the Convention,” Bedford blustered, “I do not, gentlemen, trust you.” If the large states didn’t meet his demands, Bedford threatened, “the small ones will find some foreign ally of more honor and...
Sean's Adventures In Acting, Part 2: Yes! You... →
When I was 19, I got my first paid acting work: appearing in an educational CD-ROM called “HOU Explorer”. The above link has an account of that shoot, along with video clips. All of them are about my quest to discover a supernova, though the subtext is clearly the simmering sexual tension between “Adam” and “Jen”.
A Haiku for Omar
A Birthday Haiku, from Tobias
Get yourself some beef
Cake, gifts, and a great big blow
Out party. Blow hard.
I didn't realize Journey would be so...
“Don’t Stop Believing” followup:
britticisms:
And I wasn’t trying to be mean, or anything. I also wasn’t trying to lump together or blame my friends (or say that all white people are the same). I just said that I was a black girl surrounded by white friends, but that the Journey thing seemed kind of concentrated to certain areas in Chicago (like, I’ve never heard it going out...
Can white people please explain...
britticisms:
“Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey to me?
This is something that’s bothered me (as the only Black girl in a sea of white friends or acquaintances) endlessly in my three and half years living in the city and going to school. I don’t understand why everyone pretends they know or like this song. I have very vivid memories of people having no reaction upon hearing it in a bar, and then,...
Mark Your Calendars for The Seanukkah Show!
Flyers and the official invite are in the works, but for now, mark your calendars for The Seanukkah Show, a night of stand-up comedy and sketches at The Dark Room, on Thursday, December 11th Wednesday, December 10th, at 8 PM. It’s eight nights’ worth of laughs, in just under two hours!
Featuring Sean Keane, Chris Garcia, Joe Tobin, Ali Wong, Marcella Arguello, Emily Heller, Rusty...
Meaghan O on Short Girl-Asian Girl Rivalry
me: i feel like i am always competing with asian girls. i think we must share a constituency. maybe it's a height thing?
jay: no. it's a geek thing.
me: ah. there it is.
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Sean's commentary: When I was at Berkeley, I was often accused of having an Asian fetish. But I'm 5'7" and pretty geeky. I like short girls who read lots of books regardless of ethnicity; Asian girls simply dominated that demographic where I lived. So I'm not a sexual imperialist; I'm just elitist and height-ist.
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Omar's thoughts: Wouldn't Asian girls dominate most every demographic if you were a student at Berkeley? For instance - I like girls who go to football games; wouldn't this still be mostly Asian at Berkeley? I mean, the only way you get a demographic where you might avoid Asians would be to say something like, "I like girls who love lactose, have never considered a career as a doctor, and have huge knockers" ... huh. That's actually a pretty decent triplet of requirements ... ok so it's possible.
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Sean's Further Thoughts: Asian girls who have turned their backs on engineering and medical school in favor of liberal arts are extra hot, because that way, they're rebels, too. If they also like indie rock more than they like Jesus Christ, watch out. 19-year-old Sean Keane's ideal hangout would have been a boba tea shop with low ceilings and wall-to-wall bookshelves that only played Belle & Sebastian. Really, what balanced things out for me is that I really like girls with curly hair and/or freckles.
also: lactose, ha.
Single Ladies: A Deconstruction
lindsay: hey can you explain "single ladies" to me?
lindsay: I've heard the song once
spencer: nope
lindsay: on snl
lindsay: and I've heard the "if you like it" quote many times
lindsay: but I don't get it
lindsay: did Jay Z really like her ring finger? that's the closest I can get
spencer: it's odd considering the secrecy surrounding her relationship with jay z
spencer: she's all loud and proud about get hitched
spencer: telling other girls what to do
...
spencer: break through
spencer: it's an update on the expression, "if you like it so much, then why don't you marry it?!"
spencer: pee wee better be seeing some residuals
spencer: that's it
spencer: the most juvenile phrase ever turned beyonce single
lindsay: whoa!
lindsay: I say that all the time!
spencer: hahaha
lindsay: why didn't I figure that out?
lindsay: This has just blown my mind.
Meaghan O on Short Girl-Asian Girl Rivalry
me: i feel like i am always competing with asian girls. i think we must share a constituency. maybe it's a height thing?
jay: no. it's a geek thing.
me: ah. there it is.
:
:
Sean's commentary: When I was at Berkeley, I was often accused of having an Asian fetish. But I'm 5'7" and pretty geeky. I like short girls who read lots of books regardless of ethnicity; Asian girls simply dominated that demographic where I lived. So I'm not a sexual imperialist; I'm just elitist and height-ist.
“Couldn’t you all have downgraded to first class or jet-pooled or something to...”
– Rep. Gary Ackerman, to the CEOs of the Big Three automakers, who each took a separate private jet to Washington to ask for bailout money. (via spiegelman)
Mike Rutherford's Wikipedia Page →
There’s a Genesis-fest happening over at itsbedtime, but the man behind the bass, guitars, and backup vocals has been woefully neglected. Here’s a look at Rutherford’s technical brilliance:
He also developed the idea behind the M-Series Steinberger guitar with the help of English luthier Roger Giffin and he used this extensively in the ’80s and during The Invisible Touch...
Yes we can.
unnamedplayer:
interstate:
mollyknight:
At the massive, massive No on 8 rally at City Hall.
There were a ton of Prop 8 protesters in downtown Pasadena as well. I support their cause, but I think they’re preaching to the choir. Protesting in NYC, SF, or downtown Pasadena isn’t really accomplishing much.
I think they’re better served protesting in places like Orange County. There, they...
Outdated Anxiety Dream
I’m hosting at the Punch Line tonight, and it’s a pretty important show. Last night, I had an anxiety dream about the show, albeit an outdated one. In the dream, I wasn’t allowed to go on stage until I finished writing a 5-to-7-page paper. I confirmed that tonight’s show has no essay question portion, so I think it will be fine.
whee philly!
g33ts:
i had a real philly cheesesteak IN philly. it came with cheezewhiz FROM A CAN. like a HUGE ASS CAN. i dont know why i foudn this exciting, but i did. i also got to see the liberty bell from the cab!
also the bar played the best music ever. i love my fellow SEA officer. (sea = social enterprise association = the hippie club @ bschool)
tomorrow i go back to nyc in time for bschool prom!...
Interview With Jim Breuer, on SF Standup →
Excerpt:
Now you originally came out of Long Island?
JB: I started in Long Island, right out of high school. I would usually work rock clubs. Then I started hitting the comedy clubs in ‘85, ‘86. Then, I kind of pursued acting. I was living in Florida, and I did some Nickelodeon stuff, but in ‘89, I committed to stand-up. Two years later, after doing a lot of road stuff - which I loved - I went...
Omar and Sean Discuss Gene's Heroism
Sean: Someone tried to steal Gene's iPhone on MUNI today
Sean: http://valleywag.com/5087564/san-francisco-man-risks-life-for-iphone
Omar: Gene is fantastic
Omar: This also lends credibility to my theory
Omar: That Gene is the nicest guy ever who can totally kick your ass
Sean: Yeah, he's really strong
Omar: I can totally picture him walking back onto the train calmly, too
Omar: Even perhaps spotting a mailbox on the way back to the train and dropping in a Netflix envelope
SF Man Risks Life For iPhone →
This man is my former roommate Gene. Some punk tried to steal his iPhone, and Gene chased him down, kicked his ass, and even managed to get back on the train before it left Church Street station. And they say there are no heroes anymore!
I consider this one more example of how Gene is like Iron Man.
Craigslist: Seeking Adult Drunk Clown →
marklisanti:
Things are tough all over: They’re not even paying. At least the booze is comped.
[via spiegelman]
On his birthday, my friend once hired a clown for his birthday outing to a pro wrestling match, where the clown’s only instructions were to get hammered. He said it was worth every penny.
Singles EXPO! →
murrinatr:
Find romance and a potential life mate* at the Concord Hilton this Friday!
*Make note of the evolutionary fit specimen orchestrating the event.
Thanks Going!
Some of the booths at this expo:
* Meet radio personality, Jeannine Kaiser, America’s Dating Coach * Eat Chocolate, Lose Weight * Get energized with a Triple-FX Energy Drink * Learn about BeautiControl Products * Check...
“Egg McMuffins make your hands smell bad all day long.”
– Megan P.
WatchIt’s happy! It’s fun! It’s the Happy Fun Ball!
(Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.)
Upcoming Sean Keane Gigs
I booked some shows last night. They are:
Sunday Night Showcase @ the Punchline, November 16th
This is my hosting debut at the world-famous Punchline Comedy Club in SF. The Sunday showcase features 12-15 of the best comics in the Bay Area at the best club in the Bay Area, all for $10 (plus two-drink minimum). The Punchline is located at 444 Battery Street, next to the Embarcadero Center. ...
my top airplane sightings
indian:
1. James Augustine (Illinois bball player) - we sat together on a flight from NY once, talked the whole time. At the end we went to CPK together. It was pretty awesome, and perhaps a little gay.
2. Danny Glover - I saw him on a Southwest flight from Oakland to LA [and thought to myself, “why the fuck are you on a SOUTHWEST flight?”, and took the open spot. On the flight I asked him...
What's that song about the meatball running off...
mollyknight:
You know what I’m talking about? Where it ran off the table and rolled down the street when somebody sneezed? Well that’s what my dictionary and my headphones did. ffjdslkfjkds. Thwpt!
“On Top of Spaghetti”. If this song is available at your local karaoke bar, and you and your friend perform an emotional duet of this song, you will anger the serious karaoke regulars to...
Obama Supporters Undertake Historic Immobilization
After an intense night of tears, celebration, and inebriation following the election of Barack Obama, supporters carried out an unprecedented GOTTW (Get Out Of The Work) effort. Volunteers manned phone banks, calling in sick to bosses all over the country, including managers in crucial swing states. Some even went door to door, chanting, “No, We Can’t!”, and persuading...
Five Food Innovations for 2009
magicmolly:
Free ideas for parched capitalists!
1. Curly fries made of meat
2. Popcorn biscuits (mini-biscuits, basically, that come in “bucket” units)
3. Ice cream-in-a-bread-bowl, except instead of bread it’s a BROWNIE
4. Italian burrito: sheets of lasagna pasta snugly encasing meatballs in red sauce, with alfredo dipping sauce for $1.50 extra
5. Freeze-dried kiwi balls
In the new Obama...
New York Times: At the New York Comedy Festival,... →
chrisgarcia:
Tracy Morgan
Q. Will all black comedians be expected to joke about President Obama now?
A. Oh, man. If you don’t have Obama material, then you’re out of the loop. I mean, the world’s about to change. Race is out there now, and it’s going to be confronted. Everybody wants to sweep it under the rug, put it back and close the door. But we can’t now. The president is black, so...
Sean and Vamsi Discuss White House Basketball
Vamsi: So Obama's going to put a basketball court in the White House, right?
Vamsi: I guess he could just put a hoop on the front of the garage
Vamsi: And have secret service agents go retrieve the ball when it rolls out onto the street Vamsi: And yell "CAR!"
Sean: Awesome
Sean: One secret service guy would constantly have to re-park the car
Sean: So it didn't get hit by stray rebounds
Sean: He should get the kind of hoop that you can raise and lower with a broomstick
Sean: Then he and Biden could have a dunk contest on an eight-foot rim
Vamsi: I could see Biden missing horribly and having to have someone go knock the ball out of the gutters
Sean: While Biden just stands there, cursing himself out
