June 2008
35 posts
May 2008
50 posts
SATC Movie Point/Counterpoint
Sean: Can you believe the Sex and the City movie is two and a half hours long? That is endless.
Sean's Co-worker: It could be ten hours long and that still wouldn't be enough.
Junior Mint: The enduring popularity (and... →
Enjoyable piece on Upper Deck, Ken Griffey, and the 1980’s baseball card bubble, plus a reference to one of the great baseball names of all time, Steve Lombardozzi. Quality excerpt:Geideman took the task of naming the player for the first card very seriously. Using an issue of Baseball America as his guide, Geideman knew that card No. 1 would belong to Gregg Jefferies, Sandy Alomar Jr.,...
Sean Keane and Katie Murrin Discuss Pregnancy
Sean: Man, can you imagine nine months of enforced sobriety?
Sean: You wouldn't last a trimester, Murrin!
Katie: I wouldn't last a weekend
Katie: That zygote would be polished off
Sean: That should be our new measure of drinking
Sean: It was a five-pitcher, two-zygote afternoon at Zeitgeist
Katie: Can you kill a zygote?
Sean: There's only one way to find out
Membership Has Its Privileges
Katie: Have you been to MOMA?
Sean: Yes
Sean: It's ridiculous that I don't go more
Sean: I am tempted to buy a membership
Sean: But, that's not going to make me go
Sean: Example: My membership to 24-hour fitness
Katie: Word
"The More You Know" Interview, on Zembla →
Joe Gorman discusses Full House, PSAs, and his new showcase, The More You Know.
The Economist on Berkeley's Tree-Sitters →
The Economist looks at UC Berkeley and decides that students aren’t supporting Zachary Running Wolf and his idiotic band of tree-sitting hippies because the Asian-American student population is “shockingly conservative”. The article has two gems. First, the Illuminati: There are “thousands of bodies underneath us” of the Ohlone tribe, [Zachary Running Wolf] says,...
Hacker Pulls an Office Space →
The money this guy stole could buy over 2500 red Swingline staplers. And technically, this guy pulled a Richard-Pryor-in-Superman III, not an Office Space.
You Flop With Who Brung You, on Zembla →
In Texas, they say you dance with who brung you. Flopping made the Spurs who they are. Now’s not the time to deny their identity, their very nature. Did E-40 quit drinking at the height of the hyphy movement? Did Kenny Smith shave off his flattop during the 1994 NBA Finals? Did Sergeant Roger Murtaugh start believing he was young enough for this shit at any point in the Lethal Weapon...
Rock n' Rollen Falls On Hard Times →
Stewart, however, tells a prison visitor that he is a “very quiet, shy person,” adding matter-of-factly, “The Rainbow Man was not me; he was a character.” In order to play him, he says, he needed to be stoned.
NY Mag on "The Chris Farley Show" →
Good look at the new Farley biography. Of interest to me were the disparate reactions from SNL people to the Farley-Swayze Chippendales sketch.“F—-ing lame, weak bullshit. I can’t believe anyone liked it enough to put it on the show. F—- that sketch. He never should have done it.” Bob Odenkirk (friend, SNL writer) “There’s no turn there. There’s no comic twist to it. It’s just...
My Preview of the Indiana Jones Sequel, From 2003 →
Five years ago, when the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was just a glimmer in George Lucas’s Ewok eyes, I wrote a preview of the rumored Indiana Jones sequel. With the movie opening in less than 30 minutes here in San Francisco, let’s revisit that piece even though, at this point, it belongs in a museum. * * * Indy is getting up there in years. In fact, the final sequence in...
Interleague Baseball Weekend Roundup - Zembla →
My take on the repercussions of this weekend’s interleague baseball clashes. Excerpt: Chicago White Sox sweep the Giants With its decisive victory, Chicago retains its title as the Windy City. Because the White Sox won in a sweep, Abe Froman becomes the Sausage King of San Francisco. Toronto takes two out of three from Philadelphia Toronto gets full custody of the mullet, though...
Tiger attack survivor is charged with shoplifting... →
In his defense, the Wii controllers were taunting him…
The Shirt Off Sean Keane's Back →
After some downtime, the Sean Keane store is back up and running. Originally, Seankeanester.com was going to be like Friendster, but for Sean Keanes (and Sean Keane enthusiasts). Now, that URL just points to the t-shirt store. The store has a wide variety of Sean Keane merchandise, from t-shirts to thongs to teddy bears, with all logos designed by my good friend, The Wu. This is my favorite...
Cannes 2008
aliwong: Iman and David Bowie sans botox. Hey look everybody! It’s every couple on Clement Street again. Great stuff from Ali Wong. The above two captions are my favorites. You can see Ali Wong AND Sean Keane at the Dark Room this Saturday night at 10, in Doo Doo and Buttholes.
DMX Accused of Bilking Mayo Clinic →
DMX has fallen on hard times, using a fake name (“Troy Jones”) to skip out on a hospital bill when he was treated for pneumonia. He’s also been charged with drug possession and seven counts of animal cruelty. Truly, this is how Ruff Ryders roll. You want it? Come and get it Took it then we split it You f-in’ right we did i Here are some excerpts from a DMX interview with...
WatchIt is remarkably easy to make short clips out of Hulu content. Here’s Gob and his $3000 $4000 $5000 suit.
SF Standup Interview with Eugene Mirman →
Jeff Cleary talks with Eugene Mirman, who will be performing with Marc Maron and Andy Kindler at Mezzanine tomorrow night. The highlight: I won’t ask you which of your co-comics you like more, but let me put it this way: if both Marc Maron and Andy Kindler needed a kidney transplant and you could only donate to one, who would get the kidney? EM: Oh, I don’t know… Especially since they’re both...
There Will Be Little Lady →
“gays are hot right now.”
– Lyndsey, commenting on both this and this. (via caffeinated)
Katie Murrin, on the Gay Marriage Decision
Katie: EFF YEA
Katie: SON
Katie: whatchaknowaboutsomegaymotherfuckingrightsSON!
Hotter than Heyyyy-des: Sean Keane and Chris...
me: I really cant handle sf when it's hot. The outfits are ridiculous. Dickies turned shorts and derby caps, howard the duck tank tops, it makes me miss LA
Sean Keane: this is officially no-bra thursday in SF as well
me: hahahaha
Sean: In the castro, it's ok to wear a fishing hat in public
me: If at least 80 dudes wear fishing caps, they legalize gay marriage.
So, me and ali can legally wed now
Sean: does that mean previous outlaw wedddings are now legit?
this is going to be the gayest night in the castro since Badlands had Half-Priced Appletini and Free Butt Plug Night back in '05
me: yeah theyre legal now. it's called writ of fabulous corpus
Sean: we should start developing a gay divorce court show right now
me: Judge Nudy
maybe judge tootie?
judge foodie!
Sean: judge Foodie
i like it
played by Nato Green
me: naturally!
let's do this!
Sean: would he do food-related cases?
or just eat during his crappy small claims cases?
me: the defendant - blake lancerton, owner of man tan # 3 tanning salon on owner claims that "tran tan #3" is using a similar name to steal his transvestite client base
Sean: ha. and tran tan's owner claims their waxing and aromatherapy service differentiate them
me: we use tea tree oil and they use lavender (a tranny named LAVENDER)
Internet Lingo: Decoding Internet Lingo and... →
A helpful article from Parents. The Anti-Drug. Excerpt: Here is a quick guide to help you translate what teens are saying online and in their cell phone text messages. Keep in mind that, as with street names for drugs, these symbols and acronyms are subject to frequent change, particularly when those who use them suspect that others have figured out what they mean. (Via tardhive.)
Doo Doo & Buttholes
nowseehear: Sex Appeal (myself and Jay Starr) return to the Dark Room to host an evening of stand-up with some of our favorite local comedians, including Beata Bakhtiari, Sean Keane, Brendan Lynch, and headliner Sammy Wegent (Winner - 2005 Battle of the Bay). It’s stand up, beer, strip club critiques, and most likely some arguments about Iron Man. Tickets are $10 and available here. This show...
Networks Quiet as a Mouse about Embedded Generals →
jakoblodwick: “To date, every major commercial TV network has failed to report this story, covering up their complicity and keeping the existence of this scandal from their audiences.” (of course) Pretty amazing story, albeit unsurprising. This reminds me of “Manufacturing Consent”, or it would if I’d actually read that book. My old roommate used to reference...
"Zemblr" is Now Sean Keane Comedy Dot Com
More changes coming soon!
Bottoms Up - Building a Better Bottom →
Via Katie Murrin, by way of Jezebel, here’s Bottoms Up, a Canadian website that sells padded underwear that helps “plump up your rump”. If you’re a guy like me, who’s worried that wearing an artificial ass might make me less tough, worry no more: they all have football-themed names. Butt-enhancing foam might be gay, but the Quarterback? Never. More...
Two Bobble Heads
aliwong: Today I am bidding on one of two Charles Barkley Bobble Heads on ebay: If you don’t know why I love Charles Barkley, then you need to come to a show! Ah don’t see what the big deal is.