November 2009
69 posts
“It takes almost nine months to figure out how to write on the show. You come up...”
– Dana Gould on writing for The Simpsons (via rickyv)
Sean and his Dad chat on the Thanksgiving Day Hike
Dad: This other trail I like leads past a place that looks like Hobbiton. I mean, the Shire.
Sean: Hey, Hobbiton is in the Shire, that works.
Dad: The ground is covered with all these holes, almost like apartments, and gophers are constantly poking their heads out of it.
Sean: Technically, that would be more like Buckland, Dad.
Everyone else: Shut up already, nerds!
“Kid Rock, for instance, is very pro-America and has common sense ideas.”
– Sarah Palin, from Going Rogue (via The Awl)
I could watch the 1 PM NFL Games
OR I could flip to “Smokey Robinson Tribute on Ice” on NBC. Presented by Amway Global! NBC is falling on hard times.
The crowd is really far away, to the point that Smokey looks like he’s performing TO ice. He’s standing much closer to the rink than Seal did during “A Tribute to Seal on Ice,” and part of the appeal of this show is worrying about whether skaters...
Cheers for Degenerate Gambler Cal Grads, Part 2
sportscentr:
You know it! You tell the story! You tell the whole damn world that Rico’s gonna get his money, OK, I just need a couple more days! Please don’t hurt my kids.
Cheers for Degenerate Gambler Cal Grads, Part 1
sportscentr:
Cover the spread you Bears!
Watchemilymayamills:
liezlwashere:
Jimmy Pardo interviews famous people (and Levi Johnston) for GQ.com
Jimmy Pardo is a great interviewer, and would be the best talk show host on television if he actually had his own TV talk show. I talked to him about it last year:
SK: I read that your main ambition is, you’d like to host a talk show, and the podcast seems like ideal preparation for that....
“you are potentially going into that wedding situation with the same gameplan as...”
– Sean Keane. In response, my only promises are:
1. I will not hook up with the bride’s mom
2. I will not sleep in the ice room. Hmm…Scratch that. Just #1
(via indian)
(Based on this post. As long as Vamsi doesn’t end up tearing his scrotum, I think this wedding will be considered a...
NFLOL – Week 10 of NFL Football →
The weekly NFL column is up. Here’s a little sliver of the NFLOL goodness:
Kansas City 16, Oakland 10
These two bitter AFC West rivals clash twice each year. The winner of the season series takes home an artifact that has sacred meaning for both the Chiefs and Raiders: a game-worn Marcus Allen jockstrap. With Kansas City’s victory on Sunday, the teams have split the season series for a...
WatchInspired by Nicolas Cage’s tale of being stalked by a mime on the set of Bringing Out the dead, here’s my new pulled-from-the-headlines video - “Adaptation 2: Silent But Deadly.”
A thought.
jaystarr:
mattbraunger:
You know that teacher in “Stand By Me” that River Phoenix talks about? The one he gave his stolen money back to, but she keeps it, let’s him take the blame, and buys a new dress with the money?
That’s Sarah Palin to me. In a nutshell.
Nailed it.
Worst Karaoke Lyric Transcription of the Night
Verse 3 of “Soul to Squeeze,” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Doo bee dong a bangle bang a zing gone? It’s obviously “Doo doo doo doo dingle zing a dong bone.”. Come on.
Writing Jokes at Karaoke Bars
Q: What did the French-Canadian say when he drank some really good Japanese rice wine?
A: Sake bleu!
Million-Dollar Movie Idea
“Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call Portland.”
It’s a lot like the other movies, except this time he’s such a bad lieutenant, he’s good. It’s no longer unrealistic that the lieutenant, meets so many strippers, because he’s in Portland. I think he’s investigating a gang of meth-slinging bicyclists, but I haven’t worked that part out yet.
Portland Update
We just paid a four-dollar cover to spend roughly three minutes at a strip club. Supposedly they also served steak, but we weren’t there long enough to find out.
Is it weird to combine steak and strippers? Weird, but also hot. I enjoy my steak the same way I enjoy titties: rarely.
Portland Karaoke Zinger
(Sara is about to sing "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates)
Sara: I don't know how this is gonna go.
Sean: It's hard, but it's gonna be really fun.
Sara: That's what she said.
Happy Friday the 13th! Now get outta here.
hgmonster:
Wishing you a happy Friday 13th might seem strange, but it makes perfect sense to me. You see, my dad wrote Friday the 13th.
In the late ’70s, the old man was making a living doing freelance writing, screenwriting, teaching, workshops, and whatever else he could to feed his wife and two young kids. My parents were bohemian artist types, pseudo-hippies in a redneck blue-collar New...
“I made four other movies in the city. In many ways, I was reborn there and...”
– Nicolas Cage
“I was being stalked by a mime—silent, but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would...”
– NICOLAS CAGE WAS STALKED BY A MIME. THIS IS THE GREATEST NEWS STORY IN THE HISTORY OF NEWS STORIES. via (via synecdoche) (via natashavc)
NFLOL: Week 9 →
My weekly NFL column is up! A selected excerpt:
Jacksonville 24, Kansas City 21
This game wasn’t nearly as close as the final score indicates. Kansas City scored 15 points in the final two-and-a-half minutes of the game, making me wonder why Kansas City doesn’t just run the no-huddle offense all the time. Sure, Jacksonville was probably playing prevent defense, but you’re the Chiefs! You’re...
WatchThe great Alex Koll from his recent appearance of “Live at Gotham”. In this clip, Alex discusses his experiences with tequila, the alcohol he no longer messes with, because it messes back way too hard.
Watchpaulscheer:
A compilation of characters saying the titles of the movies they are in.
Via the always fantastic videogum
I’m just so tired of all this traffic. I just can’t wait ‘til I get out of Africa.
Watchbfizzle:
San Diego, staying classy.
Five minutes of gold. ”Do you know who I am?”, yelled by a guy dressed as the Joker is pretty good, but the best moment comes at 2:19, when the fight is seemingly dying down and you hear a whistle blowing emphatically. But it’s not the cops - it’s a girl dressed as a Slutty Referee.