March 2009
83 posts
February 2009
88 posts
An Unsuccessful Blog Attempt From Valentine's Day
Worst time to come home with a bouquet of flowers:
Just when your roommate and four of his best friends from high school are about to leave for dinner with their pretty friend (ed. note: a redhead). Heckling commences. My cheeks turn irrevocably pink for the duration of the evening - it’s like breaking the seal, only brimming over with embarrassment instead of alcohol.
“Never let me slip, ‘cause if I slip then I’m slippin’.”
– Dr Dre - Nuthin But a G Thang (via jimrock)
Spiegelman the Counterfeiter
spiegelman:
The woman at Urth Caffe who just sold me a brownie did the whole hold-the-bill-up-to-the-light-to-see-if-it’s-counterfeit thing. Except, I paid with a ten.
When I worked at a children’s museum, on slow days we would often do the check-the-watermark trick with one-dollar bills. One girl took it even further, occasionally consulting with a co-worker before accepting quarters. ...
The Highlight of My Evening
Louie B. and I dueted on “Nuthin But A G Thang” tonight at karaoke. She did the Snoop parts; I did Dre’s lines. After we finished, a woman at the back of The Mint applauded wildly, then told me, “There’s always time for ho’s!
Comedy at the Cantina →
How do you know when you’ve made it as a performer? When your name first appears in the Vallejo Times Herald.
Guys
jimrock:
It’s basically after midnight on the east coast and I feel rather confident that both my mother and my boss are asleep. Social constraints are temporarily lifted and so I’m going to smoke that entire ball of resin and then a fresh bowl of California’s finest medicinal blueberry and I’m gonna make a video.
I don’t know one reason why it is a good thing to do things like this but it...
Behind The Crystal Curtain
stuckonlou:
Watching last night’s Academy Awards show was almost as uncomfortable as realizing that your first lover was an illiterate Nazi.
“The Reader” is basically, “He’s Just Not That Into You, Because You Were A Nazi Concentration Camp Guard”.
The central joke of the opening number was basically, “The economy is so bad that the Academy had to cancel the big...
Killer Drink Recipe For Your Oscar Party
The Dan White Russian
One part vodka
One part Kahlua
One part Milk
Pour over ice and garnish the rim of the glass with a slice of Twinkie
Turn around, and look at what you'll see. It's the... →
(via jaystarr)
Here’s what I like about this van: every part of it. I am firmly convinced that the owner of this NeverEnding Story 2-themed van has been shoved into a dumpster by bullies on multiple occasions. Like, in adulthood.
Do you think “Heavan” is a pun, or the sign of an untimely vanity plate purchase?
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing Kevin Spacey to star in...”
– Cap’n Lou (via capnlou) (via stuckonlou)
Redheads Love Sean Keane (on Zembla) →
Excerpt:
Sean: Redheads are irresistibly drawn to Sean Keane Sean: I think it’s my complexion Sean: They know they have a friend in me Emily: Could be Sean: There’s a good chance I have an SPF 45 sunscreen on me if there’s an emergency Sean: And I know at least four ways to cook potatoes
Take Shrooms and Cruise Hollywood in a Lamborghini →
Drummer Josh Freese has 11 different price levels for his new album, ranging from a basic $7 package (digital download and three videos) to a $75,000 offering (“Have Josh write, record and release a 5 song EP about you and your life story; Take home any of his drumsets (only one but you can choose which one.); Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL’s Lamborgini OR play...
WatchRuminations on my second cold shower of the week.
Choice quote: “Overrated: Having your testicles on the outside of your body.”
WatchOur hot water has been off for a few days. When my roommate took his first ice-cold shower, I filmed the closed shower door to capture his reaction.
Choice quote: “Aahhh! This is the stupidest thing in the world!”
Sean Keane and Chris Garcia Discuss the Chris Mihm...
Chris: The Los Angeles Lakers have traded center Chris Mihm to the Memphis Grizzlies in exchange for a conditional 2nd round pick in the 2013 NBA Draft, it was announced today by General Manager Mitch Kupchak
Chris: hahaha in 2013!!!
Chris: That's amazing
Sean: That is like saying, "By rule, we could not have traded Chris Mihm for less than this"
Sean: And normally, a trade like this has a lot of cash considerations
Sean: But in this case, both sides were already bored to death
Chris: I'll let you have this Kia Sedona for 6 dollars. No payments til 2013
Sean: A second-round pick four years from now means Mihm has basically been traded for a Lithuanian ninth-grader to be named later
Sean: Memphis also gets a game-worn Coby Karl jersey
Sean: And a pillow stuffed with Vladimir Radmanovic's back hair
Chris: EW!!!!!!!!!!
Chris: A squirt of Luke Walton's suntan lotion and a Criterion collection copy of Zoolander signed by Sasha Vujacic
Sean: The Lakers also get a bottle of barbecue sauce
Sean: A collage that Javaris Crittendon made for Jordan Farmar
Sean: And one of Hakim Warrick's headbands
A Poll
oomb:
Joaquin Phoenix: Performance Art Genius or Batshit Insane?
Luke: I think it’s fake. People who work with him always talk about what an intense method actor he is, and how he likes to mess with people. It’s very likely he’s pulling an Andy Kaufman.
Phebe: It’s definitely a joke, and I love it!
Marien: I think he is performing, but will take it too far. He’s going to get so into it he...
WatchI made a Valentine’s Day cookie that said “2 RAD”, then followed up with a “2 PAC” cookie. Mike Fischer took the broken cookie and made it into art.
