April 2009
73 posts
Not Me, But I Wish It Was →
In honor of Chris discovering his tattoo artist doppelganger, here’s an interview with professional inline skater Sean Keane. BTW, “Steady Mackin’ With Sean Keane” is going to be the name of my debut CD.
How You Should and Shouldn't Do Karaoke →
shebs:
“You must always keep in mind that you are performing for other people. It’s ok to take pride in your performance, but an obvious and useful metaphor here is sex: you are having fun by making it possible for someone else to have fun, and if you’re not, you might as well be doing it by yourself.”
— Emily Gould on karaoke.
This article is chock full of gold, especially in the comments...
Louise Answers Sean's Questions About Swine Flu
Louise: How worried are you about swine flu, sean?
Sean: That's gone into the "Susan Boyle" folder in my mind
Sean: Things people discuss endlessly online that I can't be bothered to investigate myself
Sean: Is swine flu supposed to kill us?
Louise: Yes, it can
Louise: I'm not sure if it's deadlier than regular flu
Louise: But 86 people in Mexico have died
Sean: Should I be avoiding carnitas?
Louise: No, you cannot get it from eating pork
Sean: OK good
Sean: And this is not what killed Bea Arthur?
Louise: Geez Sean
Louise: Get back in the loop, please!
Sean: Is this from people having sex with pigs, or not?
Louise: Sean
Louise: Stop thinking about pig sex for once
Louise: It's just from being around pigs
Sean: ...in a romantic way
Sean: So it's like herpes
Sean: Louise, how are we going to destroy the pigs?
Louise: Bacon at every meal for the next 50 years
Louise: It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make
Sean: I like that it fits in with my post-9/11 commitment to relentless pork-eating
Sean: I'm not with the Muslim terrorists
Sean: Or the immune system terrorists
Sean and Julien Discuss Phil Jackson
Sean: What is Phil even saying to these guys tonight?
Julien: He probably gave them some weird pamphlet
Sean: "Let's make Kirilenko cry. Sasha, throw some elbows. Kobe, dunk on him. Luke, get out there and sleep with his wife."
Julien: I'll bet Sasha has long fingernails
Julien: He's definitely a scratcher
Sean: Little-known fact: Sasha also refuses to trim his pubes until the Lakers win the title.
Julien: He also wears a hair band on his pubes
“His 18-year NBA career ended Tuesday night with a gruesome knee injury midway...”
– SportsJustice: In praise of Dikembe Mutombo, one of the all-time greats (via wreckandsalvage)
Sean Keane addition: More Mutombo greatness from TrueHoop.
WatchBen Linus reads “Little Boy Blue” (awkward Jimmy Fallon interview portion trimmed.)
(via jonahray)
Sean and Louise Discuss Dollar Coins Even Further
Sean: Sorry, I got sidetracked by all the dollar coin news
Sean: I thought the new ones were all Washingtons
Sean: Not so
Louise: I remember we were dismayed that GW would be on yet more money
Louise: Like he doesn't have enough
Louise: Who else is on them?
Sean: It's four presidents per year through 2016
Sean: So i think we got a batch of 07s
Louise: Whoa!
Louise: That's a great idea, US Mint!
Sean: I'm excited for the Millard Fillmore era
Sean: Hater of the Irish, and the worst politician to ever end up on a coin
Sean: Here's a theory -
Sean: Do you think the new dollar coin plan is simply a way to avoid putting women on currency for ten years?
Louise: It's not a bad theory
Louise: Especially since dollar coins have traditionally been the women's sphere
Louise: Maybe it's Hillary backlash
Louise: She declared she was going to run for pres at the beginning of 2007
Louise: The first year of these new dollar coins
Sean: I imagine an old man at the mint
Sean: Like, a hundred years old
Sean: Shaking his fist and exclaiming, "Like hell, Hillary!"
Sean: I basically imagine the government as an office from the 1940s, as seen in a movie
Sean: "The dames are sure making a big stink about these new coins."
Sean: "Well let's put a dame on the dollar coin. They can use it for laundry! And to buy support hose"
“I feel like Cuba is like Sade. She’s so beautiful and unique that it’s okay to...”
– Chris Garcia
Watch“Donner Summit”, an excerpt from my show last night at the Punch Line. I definitely got into the holiday spirit a day early.
Keanen Ivory?
Julien: How many Keane kids are there? You guys are like a whiter, more modest Wayans clan
Sean: Yes, and instead of comedy
Sean: We just teach swim lessons and wait tables
Julien: Well that's what most of the Wayans family is doing now too
Keane Family Easter Egg Chat
Sean: One of my sisters made a Slumdog Millionaire-themed egg
Sean: it says "Million dollar egg" on one side and "Answer: Aramis" on the other
Chris: Whatta sista!
Sean: Whatta bunny!
Chris: Yesterday she was serving margaritas to the tostada wallas...
Nan Goldin is Broke, Single →
pegalegmeg:
erikmaza:
“We were passionate about finding other people like us in the world then,” she says, childlike in her nostalgia, “and we didn’t go on the internet to find them.”
“‘You want a cup of coffee?’ drawls Nan Goldin. Yes please, I reply. ‘Great – there’s a café down on the street; go get yourself one.’”
“I’m now holding two wooden sandals in my pants.”
– Vamsi Adusumilli, shoe fetishist
