March 2010
35 posts
When it rains it pours awesomeness
An old guy on the street approached me and my roommate outside 7-11, where we were chatting and somewhat obstructing the sidewalk. He was wearing a knit cap and a black leather coat, and asked us, “Who’s in charge around here?” We of course said, “You are.”
He replied, “Why, because I’m on acid?” Old guy told us he took acid, of course he took...
February 2010
32 posts
Watchchrisgarcia:
“Snug Life”: A music video about Snuggies starring Chris Garcia. Produced by Clean White Lines.
Without a doubt, the money Chris paid for the “I Am T-Pain” app is the best $2.99 he’s ever spent.
He said he was eager to see the White House for... →
Frank Bruni gets in a good burn on Scott Brown.
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Estamos juntos.
I was walking through the Mission with my girl on Wednesday night when we stopped at a red light. She looked at me and said, hesitantly, “Estamos juntos?”
She’s been trying to learn Spanish recently, and I sometimes can help out with my half-assed high school level translation abilities. This was a phrase I knew, however. ”We’re together,” I said.
I grabbed...
smelly man kicked off plane →
indian:
Kevin Smith just can’t catch a break.
“When I was 17, I had sex with a woman with a wooden arm. It was shaped like it...”
– - Tracy Morgan. (via bestiesonice)
For Omar.
Wait for the beep
lindsayrobertson:
The whole thing today about how thieves could use Foursquare to burglarize people’s homes reminds me of that ’80s and ’90s hysteria thing where everyone’s mom would insist that they say “We can’t come to the phone” instead of “We’re not home” on the family’s outgoing answering machine message because saying “We’re not home” would entice thieves, because if there’s one thing we...
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“I bet Anne Murray and Donald Sutherland did it right before this ceremony.”
– Another anonymous observer
“I bet Anne Murray and Donald Sutherland have totally done it before.”
– Anonymous observer at Vancouver torch-lighting preamble
Sure, I'm watching on tape-delay, but
Is Donald Sutherland playing Father Christmas in an unproduced film?
Observations from NBC's Olympic commercials
How is Alec Baldwin allowed to referee anyone else’s marriage?
imdeadanditsallmyfault:
How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t go to the hospital, Doug? I’m a Christian Scientist! It goes against my beliefs to have health insurance. Plus it saves me a shit-ton of money. How do you think I could afford the dirt bike in the first place? Shit, Doug, I think that’s a major artery. If you want to help, hold my hand and pray for the bleeding to stop.
“Here’s why I’m excited about 2012: I would never sleep with a guy now, but maybe...”
– Comedian Kaseem Bentley, from Sex Talk With Kaseem
America's New Initiative
Now that the Lombardi Trophy has restored New Orleans, we must shift our national energy and resources to a new effort: Rebuilding Roger Daltrey’s voice.
Won't get booked again
Joey: The Who were so terrible.
Sean: It was an old age wasteland.
Sean and Jay Pretty Much Just Rant About "Avatar",...
Jay: My favorite idea in Avatar
Jay: is that the people who made the technology thought
Jay: hey, if we just send them something that looks like one of them, they'll trust it.
Jay: Didn't Cameron see Terminator?
Jay: god damn it Sean, that movie was awful
Sean: it was really bad!
Jay: "I hope all this tree hugger crap isn't on the final." Two scenes later, he is literally hugging a tree.
Sean: i didn't expect it to be good
Sean: Jake used the same slang as Edward Furlong in T2
Jay: "Jake Sulley, you must do what Tribal Leader tells you!" "She's not my mother, Tooooodd."
Jay: *guns n roses track*
Jay: the nerdy guy that he arrives with should have been Budnick
Sean: "and the golden globe for Best Original Screenplay goes to..."
Sean and Jay Discuss the Oscar Nominations, Part...
Jay: thank god for avatar getting a nom for best picture
Sean: i just can't believe the Avatar screenplay got shut out
Sean: if only more Guild members spoke Na'vi
Sean: or had brain injuries
Sean: Cameron would have been golden
Jay: they really need to start showcasing the Holocaust Film aspects of Avatar
Sean: first they came for the viperwolves
Sean: and i didn't not speak up, for i am not a viperwolf
Sean: then they came for the titanotheres
Sean: and i didn't speak up, for i had not braid-raped a titanothere
Jay: I just started the slow clap
Sean: i thought the scene where Avatar rides the giant pterodactyl into the meeting was like Eminem winning a Grammy for Best rap Album
jaystarr:
A new study shows that abstinence-only sex education helps children postpone when they first have intercourse. Not affected: bible camp finger bangs.
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Sean and Jay Discuss the Oscar Nominations, Part...
Sean: when i saw the oscar nominations this morning
Sean: i thought for a minute that Woody Harrelson had been nominated for "2012"
Sean: because i couldn't remember anything else he was in this year
Jay: exactly what I thought
Jay: the movie title 'the messenger' put his crazy character in my head too
Sean: yes
Sean: like maybe "the messenger" was the international title of 2012
Jay: it's the name of the director's cut
Sean: more of a character study
Sean: it's like Talk Radio
Sean: with volcanos
More Thoughts on "Avatar"
There’s a part where Jake is learning to ride his space-horse and the girl Na’vi says, “Feel her heartbeat, feel her strength. Now tell her what to do - inside.”
And I thought, “This is how James Cameron views sex with a woman.”