April 2011
13 posts
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Scenes from "Fast Five", if it starred me, driving...
Scenes from “Fast Five”, if it starred me, driving my car, a 1982 Toyota Corolla
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THE ROCK: Eat nitrous! (hits turbo switch)
PAUL WALKER: Too soon! (hits his own switch)
SEAN: I think the “low nitrous” light is blinking, I’m just gonna pull over. Wait, sorry, I’m just out of windshield wiper fluid. Is the race - the race is definitely over. Sorry.
...
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“You journalists are ever lying. I remember people like you laughing at me at the...”
– Longtime Beasties Boys video director Nathanial Hörnblowér, in a 1994 letter to the New York Times
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Opening day comedy on the bus
Woman in head-to-toe Giants gear: It's such an exciting day! They're raising the World Series banner for the first time ever. People are already hanging out outside the park, just inhaling the grass.
White man with dreadlocks: I bet they're inhaling that grass!
Woman in head-to-toe Giants gear: ...What?
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Jim Nantz's Notebook
Jim Nantz is always ready for a ridiculous turn of phrase at the end of the national title game. Here’s a few he’s been kicking around.
If UConn wins:
“In a tragedy worthy of E.M. Forster, UConn’s victory is Matt Howard’s End.”
“March Madness went in like a lion, and goes out like a Lamb.”
“Cinderella danced for three weeks, but in the end, the tournament belonged to a Walker.”
If Butler...
“And if she wants to take over the box business, the next victim could be you.”
– William Hurt, Mr. Brooks
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