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Sean Keane is a stand-up comic living in San Francisco. This is a place for Sean Keanes and Sean Keane Enthusiasts.

I also write SportsCentr and contribute to NBA Playoffs 2009

Email: mrseankeane (at) gmail (dot) com

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  1. Sunday, February 28th 2010
  2. 5:37pm:
    When it rains it pours awesomeness

    An old guy on the street approached me and my roommate outside 7-11, where we were chatting and somewhat obstructing the sidewalk. He was wearing a knit cap and a black leather coat, and asked us, “Who’s in charge around here?”  We of course said, “You are.”

    He replied, “Why, because I’m on acid?” Old guy told us he took acid, of course he took acid, because look at what a beautiful day it was in San Francisco. It was at this point I looked down and noticed he was wearing Teva sandals over black socks, which is the preferred footwear for crazy old guys on acid.

    Before he left us, the old guy had one more secret. “I hate poor people,” he confided. “You know why?” We had no idea. “Because they’ll suck your dick!”

    3. Comments (View)
  3. Thursday, February 25th 2010
  4. 6:42pm|reblogged from Video Bathroom:
    schlomo: Ran into famous Tumblrs Sean Keane and Chris Garcia at Bender’s last night. We had whiskey and talked briefly about the SF Tumblr Meetup of Awesomeness that will happen very soon at House Of Shields. Tumblr Meetup of Shields is going to be epic.  From this picture, you can see that Chris Garcia actually knows how to smile, whereas I only get about 60% of the way there.

    schlomo:

    Ran into famous Tumblrs Sean Keane and Chris Garcia at Bender’s last night. We had whiskey and talked briefly about the SF Tumblr Meetup of Awesomeness that will happen very soon at House Of Shields.

    Tumblr Meetup of Shields is going to be epic.  From this picture, you can see that Chris Garcia actually knows how to smile, whereas I only get about 60% of the way there.

    5. Comments (View)
  5. Wednesday, February 24th 2010
  6. 5:59pm|reblogged from SportsCentr:
    sportscentr: That Russian fan looks physically pained by the crazy Canadian fans trailing him. However strangely these hockey nuts are dressed, I think it’s still weirder that the Russian guy is drinking his beer with a straw. (LUIS ACOSTA/AFP/Getty Images) My Canadian correspondent informs me that in ice centers in Canada, beer has to be served with lids on, apparently because hockey-mad Canadians can’t help throwing their beer all over the place if something exciting happens. So some people drink beer with a straw, not just cranky Russians. She adds, “The Saddledome has a special sippy lid.”

    sportscentr:

    That Russian fan looks physically pained by the crazy Canadian fans trailing him. However strangely these hockey nuts are dressed, I think it’s still weirder that the Russian guy is drinking his beer with a straw.

    (LUIS ACOSTA/AFP/Getty Images)

    My Canadian correspondent informs me that in ice centers in Canada, beer has to be served with lids on, apparently because hockey-mad Canadians can’t help throwing their beer all over the place if something exciting happens. So some people drink beer with a straw, not just cranky Russians. She adds, “The Saddledome has a special sippy lid.”

    7. Comments (View)
  7. 1:51pm|reblogged from Chris Garcia:

    chrisgarcia:

    “Snug Life”: A music video about Snuggies starring Chris Garcia. Produced by Clean White Lines.

    Without a doubt, the money Chris paid for the “I Am T-Pain” app is the best $2.99 he’s ever spent.

    8. Comments (View)
  8. 12:30pm:
    An ambitious pigeon looks for food, well inside and downstairs at the Castro Street MUNI station, totally unfazed by commuters all around. It might have trouble making its way out, though I assume a pigeon this unflappable will simply take the escalator. And probably stand on the left side, even though he’s not walking up.

    An ambitious pigeon looks for food, well inside and downstairs at the Castro Street MUNI station, totally unfazed by commuters all around. It might have trouble making its way out, though I assume a pigeon this unflappable will simply take the escalator. And probably stand on the left side, even though he’s not walking up.

    9. Comments (View)
  9. Tuesday, February 23rd 2010
  10. 2:40pm:
    He said he was eager to see the White House for the first time and curious in particular about whether “they really have these secret entrances,” like the ones he remembered from “First Kid,” a movie starring the comedian Sinbad that he recently rewatched.

    Frank Bruni gets in a good burn on Scott Brown.

    11. Comments (View)
  11. Monday, February 22nd 2010
  12. 6:57pm:
    The stars of Air Bud 7: Journey to the Bark-tic Circle pose for publicity photos in Vancouver.

    The stars of Air Bud 7: Journey to the Bark-tic Circle pose for publicity photos in Vancouver.

    13. Comments (View)
  13. 9:40am:

    The climactic scene in Hari Kondabolu’s Lifetime Original Movie, “Not My Daughter.”  I play a small but pivotal role.

    14. Comments (View)
  14. Saturday, February 20th 2010
  15. 12:42am:
    Estamos juntos.

    I was walking through the Mission with my girl on Wednesday night when we stopped at a red light.  She looked at me and said, hesitantly, “Estamos juntos?”

    She’s been trying to learn Spanish recently, and I sometimes can help out with my half-assed high school level translation abilities.  This was a phrase I knew, however.  ”We’re together,” I said.

    I grabbed her hand.  ”That’s sweet, babe.  We are together. I mean, I know you’re leaving soon, but right now, present tense, estamos juntos.”

    She looked back at me as the light changed and we walked across the street hand-in-hand. Which is when I noticed the T-Mobile store on the corner, with their slogan, “Estamos juntos,” written right below the marquee.

    “I wish you hadn’t looked over there!” she exclaimed, but we kept holding hands. Well, for another half a block, because enough is enough, right?

    16. Comments (View)
  16. Friday, February 19th 2010
  17. 4:39pm:

    Thomas Bruso, taser victim and bus hero, was interviewed by San Francisco’s finest news organization, KRON. Some selected excerpts:

    • The fight started when Bruso talked about getting a “boy” or a “brother” to shine his shoes.  He claims the comment was not racist in nature - “For all you know, it’s a Chinaman gonna shine my shoes,” he explains.
    • Bruso goes almost two minutes without dropping an n-bomb. To be fair, he is quoting another bus passenger, not making his own racial slur.
    • The victim was knocked out for what Bruso says was “Twenty-two and a half minutes.”
    • Bruso carries a shank, but only because he’s “a senior citizen! I’m entitled to carry a weapon.”  He also confesses to murdering someone with a pistol, adding, “but I never got caught for that.”
    • Bruso on sentencing laws:  ”If he killed one time he should be locked up for 150 years!”
    • The interviewer has a lot of trouble keeping Bruso from swearing.
    • Not surprisingly, Bruso has spent time in prison himself.  He admits to selling drugs, and somewhat questionably claims to have been involved in “pimping.”
    • Key quote: “I was happy to ride in the front seat of a squad car instead of the back.”
    • Also: “Don’t fuck with old senior citizens. They’ll surprise you every once in a while.”

    (Thanks to Hot Wings And Beer)

    18. Comments (View)
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