My old roommate is in India. So far, most reports have involved mangos and karaoke. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m bolding my favorites below.
1. i have found the most potent solution to the indian bo issue: cigarette smoke. they need to rub this shit in their armpits.
2. where do all the accents go when people sing?
3. the locals can sing, no joke. the only issue: song choice. ive heard songs tonight i haven’t thought about in years/probably never needed to. the winner: one of us, by joan osborne. yes, that song.
4. they gave me a baby cup to go along with my 650 ml of beer, while the guys with us got proper beer mugs. i was displeased. im just saying, no one puts baby in the corner.
5. the waiter then followed me around the packed bar and refilled my cup until the bottle was empty. im adding this man to the list of jobs that exist in india not for any useful purpose, but only to employee the excess population.
6. one of the biggest hits of the night: don’t want to miss a thing….really they couldnt play crazy ? at least thats an aerosmith song i love. also the dude had the BEST fob stache ever.
7. at some point everyone did the hustle. while the DJ sang “ill be watching you.” the pdiddy versoin (or was he puffy back then?)
7a. According to my sources, one reaosn that Puff Daddy became P. Diddy was due to his unexpected popularity in England, where his nickname meant “Gay Daddy”. Possibly that slang extends to India.
8. i saw two indian women freaking to “with or without you.” this is the only song that provoked such behavior. please explain.
9. i may or may not have been very tempted to join in to some careless whispers singing.
10. im listening to don’t stop believin, to make up for not having heard it tonight. i will love that song till the end of time.
9. im unclear on why list format is appropriate for this email.
9a. It’s not an email
9b. This is actually #11.
10. hiding somewhere in the niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
10a. Yeah, that one was coming.
