We Are the 49%: Why the 49ers Should Be the Team of the Occupy Movement
MIC CHECK! Sports fandom and political activism are not mutually exclusive, but it’s understandable that activists in the Occupy moment have not been following the NFL season closely this fall. Who should they support today? I think the general consensus should be the San Francisco 49ers.
- In the pre-season, pundits gave the 49ers only a 1% chance to reach the Super Bowl.
- The 49ers defense lacks superstars, but it’s quietly devastating. One could call it…Anonymous.
- Their opponent is the New York Giants, a team from Wall Street itself. Last week, they faced off against a community-owned non-profit from Wisconsin and they crushed them, like some kind of Koch Brothers wet dream.
- Just as corporations will incorporate themselves in Delaware for tax reasons, the Giants claim New York City as their home, despite playing their games in New Jersey. Stop the corporate lies, John Mara!
- Eli Manning is their quarterback, a player who got his opportunities because of his family connections. His signature move is to throw passes wildly downfield, and hope that his wide receivers will bail him out. Hakeem Nicks might as well have “TARP” written on the back of his jersey.
- Coach Tom Coughlin did once wear a V For Vendetta mask on the sidelines, but it was only to keep his face from freezing off. His favorite Natalie Portman movie is actually “Where The Heart Is,” a movie that takes place at Wal-Mart.
- Alex Smith was an honor student in both high school and college. He earned his degree in just two years, but once he joined the workforce, he kept losing his job over and over again. Some say it was a quarterback competition; I call that layoffs.
- For years, the 49ers were run by Dennis Erickson, Mike Nolan, and Mike Singletary, which means they were a leaderless organization YEARS before Zucotti Park.
- San Francisco starts Michael Crabtree at wide receiver. In Oakland, I believe someone briefly occupied a crab tree.
- Candlestick Park provides less protection from the cold than a teepee at Justin Herman Plaza.
- Like protesters, 49er fans now have to worry about cops infiltrating their groups.
Who’s got it better than us? Economically, it’s the 1%, but on the gridiron, nobody!
Whose Stick? Our Stick! Whose Stick? Our Stick! Whose Stick? Our Stick!
