The weekly NFL column is up. Here’s a little sliver of the NFLOL goodness:
Kansas City 16, Oakland 10
These two bitter AFC West rivals clash twice each year. The winner of the season series takes home an artifact that has sacred meaning for both the Chiefs and Raiders: a game-worn Marcus Allen jockstrap. With Kansas City’s victory on Sunday, the teams have split the season series for a third straight year, and the jockstrap will remain in its display case at Elvis Grbac’s house. When reached for comment, Marcus Allen said, “I want nothing to do with this tradition. God, at least wash it!”
Kansas City has won their last three games in Oakland, but only two of their last 32 played anywhere else. The Chiefs are the NFL’s version of ghost-riding the whip: they’re respected and cool in Alameda County, and considered a dangerous hazard everywhere else in America. This is why E-40’s last albums haven’t sold better: the hip-hop community is confused by his references to the dominant Kansas City offense, and his claim that his Johnson is “more unstoppable than Larry/You know, the running back/Not the basketball player/Who was also pretty good/But never really unstoppable as pro/Mostly due to injuries.”
Tennessee 41, Buffalo 17
This game was actually close; Tennessee had two interception returns for touchdowns in the last three minutes of the game. Buffalo also lost the ball on downs during that stretch, and had the ball when time expired, which is a testament to Dick Jauron’s excellent clock management even in defeat. Jauron’s decision to bring in backup Ryan Fitzpatrick was less than excellent: Fitzpatrick completed only two of his first six passes, and his seventh pass was a pick-six. It looks like he’ll be the starter next week, so fantasy football players, go ahead and pick up Jacksonville’s defense right now.
As the game was winding down, Tennessee owner Bud Adams flipped off Buffalo fans, with both hands. I’ve come up with a few reasons why:
- Adams is upset with Buffalo fans who claim that the Music City Miracle was a forward pass.
- Bills owner Ralph Wilson slept with his girlfriend back in 1947.
- Adams watched every episode of “To on To,” and can never get those hours of his life back.
- Because he couldn’t flip them off with three hands.
