I taped a four-minute set for “Creepy KOFY Movie Time,” a local cable show that intersperses B-movies with interviews, commentary, standup comedy, burlesque dancers, and a lot of people dressed as zombies. When I showed up, the zombie contingent was just leaving, though one I didn’t recognize greeted me warmly and gave me a handshake-hug.
It got stranger. They provide refreshments, so there were monsters with head wounds drinking Watermelon Ale, and, most fascinating to me, a man dressed as a centaur drinking a Sprite. At one point, the centaur dropped a notebook, and the combination of his proud refusal of help and his artificial horse legs meant it took him almost five minutes to pick it up again.
My segment was delayed because they were taping three different segments of “Ask An Adult Film Star,” where Balrock (the monster co-host of the show) asks salacious questions of porn star Annie Cruz, and receives innocuous and nerdy replies in response. “She needs time to change outfits, so we’re putting your segment in between,” the producer told me. “Don’t worry, the outfits are worth it.”
(Side note: I looked up Ms. Cruz on Wikipedia, and learned she was named the 2008 Squirt Queen of the Year. I thought, oh, it’s like prom, but my roommate informed me, “2008? That means she’s a has-been.”)
I did my set, the first time I have performed on an improvised stage in a fake monster cave, and it went well. Seeing at the face paint, spikes, and rampant boozing in front of me, I correctly guessed that material about the Oakland Raiders would probably go over well. I stuck around for the final segments and got a shock when I saw the centaur had put on a mask - HE WAS A MINOTAUR ALL ALONG!
Lots of fun all around, and I’d recommend it to comics or anyone who enjoys bad movies and strippers dressed as vampires. The show is on every Saturday at midnight in the Bay Area, and my segment - my TV debut! - will be airing on the night of March 13th.
