Stand-up comedy takes up a lot of my time and mental energy, but only recently has it begun to also invade my subconscious. This week, I had two notable stand-up comedy dreams.
1. The Punchline was having a comedy showcase during a Giants game. I was scheduled to perform early, but I had a hard time finding the stage. When my name was announced, I had to sprint across the outfield, and vault the center field fence to climb onto the makeshift platform that had been set up for the comics. In all the excitement, I completely forgot my set list, and decided I would riff about baseball. Unfortunately, I led with a joke about outfielder Randy Winn’s lack of team success.
“They really ought to call him Randy Lose,” I said, and the crowd immediately began booing me. I tried to continue, but I couldn’t compete with the angry crowd. I felt bad for letting down the Punchline people, who were waving me offstage, and I felt even worse when I saw Randy Winn standing in right field with his head down. He looked like he was crying. The last thing I remember before waking up was Lou Seal shaking his head in disapproval.
2. Gallagher decided to quit the business, and had chosen me as his successor. It wasn’t a Gallagher Too situation; in this dream world, I was replacing Gallagher completely, much like how succession worked for the Dread Pirate Roberts. Gallagher was very solemn about handing down the role. He ceremonially presented me with a striped shirt in a dry cleaning bag, a crisp hundred-dollar bill, and a handful of change, then patted me on the back and left.
I told my dad, who was there for some reason, that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be the new Gallagher. Dad asked if I’d taken the shirt, and when I said yes, he shrugged and told me I was stuck. In a very mundane conclusion to this dream, I struggled to find a computer to look up driving directions to my first gig as New Gallagher, in Modesto.
