Weird ornaments from my parents’ house, Part Seven:
Years before Nicolas Cage was victimized by The Wicker Man, my parents began hanging a wicker Santa on the tree. This ornament looks like a scarecrow dressed as Saint Nick, wearing a wicker traffic cone as a hat. What is this ornament trying to scare away? Wicker birds, wicker children on the wicker naughty list, and, judging by the rest of the tree, all of the normal ornaments.
Mom and Dad, hanging Scarecrow Santa on the tree won’t bring back your goddamn honey!
