Sean Keane Comedy

Supporting the Mizzou Tigers, while someone tries to bust this...

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 13:20:21 -0700

Supporting the Mizzou Tigers, while someone tries to bust this photo’s bracket.

mightyflynn: 2/24/75-BRADENTON,FLA: Lefthander Jim Rooker isn’t...

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 15:21:55 -0700

2/24/75-BRADENTON,FLA: Lefthander Jim Rooker isn’t trying out for the old House of David baseball team although his beard would have qualified.Rooker is one of the early arrivals at The Pittsburgh Pirates spring training camp. (UPI)

If Kyle Kinane were a baseball player, this is pretty much what he’d look like.

sportscentr: “I heard you tore your scrotum dancing.” “Yeah,...

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:15:37 -0700

sportscentr:

“I heard you tore your scrotum dancing.”

“Yeah, but what Cornell did to Temple today was way more painful.”

"BART Challenge" Brewing in Milwaukee

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 12:34:18 -0700

It’s been a rich NCAA Tournament for games of fake local rivalries so far. We had St. Mary’s versus Richmond (VA) on Thursday, which normally refers to a frightened white homeowner calling the police after hearing a car drive by playing hip-hop on its stereo.

Today, we have Oakland (MI) vs. Pittsburgh (PA) - feel free to mentally subtract the “h” and add the “/Bay Point” to the second name, in order to make this a real BART rivalry. It’s the Battle For MacArthur Station! Railroad Avenue versus Fruitvale Avenue! Forget the back door cut - I want to see the downstairs, across the platform, and up the other set of stairs cut.

You’ll be on the edge of your seat! And not just because someone threw up on the back of the seat, then tried to cover it up with a copy of the SF Examiner.

UT-SDSU Announcing Note

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:58:00 -0700

sportscentr:

It’s uncomfortable every time Verne Lundquist says “Chism.” Especially when he says, “Chism, trying to get it in,” or “Chism shooting from long-distance.” Bill Raftery, tell Verne that In the second half, he should just call him “Wayne.”

Later, he said, “Chism is all over the place tonight.”

It's not just him

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:35:23 -0700

indian:

Is it just me, or should toyota change their ad tagline from “moving forward” as soon as humanly possible?

willdo: 18 March 2010: The day Anderson Cooper finished with $0...

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:00:36 -0700

willdo:

18 March 2010: The day Anderson Cooper finished with $0 on Celebrity Jeopardy! and lost to Cheech Marin.

Must-See TV.

emilyheller: I couldn’t resist. “I’m not going to...

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 07:33:20 -0700

emilyheller:

I couldn’t resist.

“I’m not going to drink any merlot. It’s like torture to me.”

SeanKeaneComedy.com just got plugged on KOFY TV 20

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:49:32 -0800

Let the followers and page views flow like wine!

(I’m talking incredibly fast and there’s an audience of burlesque girls and monsters in front of me during this segment. TV debut SON.)

seansfridge: typical. It might have been a mistake to leave my...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:16:53 -0800

seansfridge:

typical.

It might have been a mistake to leave my laptop on the kitchen counter this morning. And to make our wireless password “Kenmore.”

kylekinane: Adorable and filthy at the same time. Pretty much...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:51:27 -0800

kylekinane:

Adorable and filthy at the same time. Pretty much sums up my life.

This is JUST GREAT.

Buy Kyle’s album!

Cleaning out the fridge

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:04:15 -0800

Cleaning out the fridge:

I believe this was the impetus for my refrigerator joining Tumblr - this account of condiment genocide inspired horror and outrage, especially as I was destroying two beloved things - mustard AND expired food. I hope that the fridge will forgive me someday.

At one point I was scrubbing the back wall and felt like one of the dwarves of Khazad-dum, mining deeper into the layers of Moria. I scrubbed hard and a mysterious odor emerged. I half-expected a refrigerator Balrog to come out because we’d cleaned too deep. I’d be forced to confront him, wielding my paper towel like a staff. “Go back to the shadow! Your expiration date is nigh, Flame of Udun!”
At one point I did open a jar of ranch dip to check its freshness, and upon smelling it, I muttered, “You shall not pass.” and tossed it in the trash.

Man On Internet Almost Falls Into World Of DIY Mustard Enthusiasts

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:58:03 -0800

Man On Internet Almost Falls Into World Of DIY Mustard Enthusiasts:

“By this point, Gibson said, mustard had become his only reason for getting out of bed in the morning. Coworkers had begun to shun him, friends grew distant. Soon every Tupperware container in his home was filled with the rich, yellow condiment, and Gibson began dumping out half-empty jars of jam and olives in a desperate attempt to find receptacles for his latest zesty concoctions.”

When I first started seeing my girl, I was a little perturbed (but also charmed) by the qualities she had in common with your average boxcar hobo. Instead of an apartment, she rented a room. She rarely ate cooked food, due to her lack of regular access to refrigerators and stoves. Often, she wore oversized sweatshirts and jackets, and while she never carried her belongings in a handkerchief attached to a stick, the trunk of her car served essentially that same purpose.

I tried testing her with messages scrawled on the sidewalk in hobo code, but she never reacted. I got suspicious when she asked for a piece of bread one day after a walk, which she proceeded to toast, cover with mustard, and eat like a sandwich. Mustard sandwiches are hobo food! It turns out she just really likes mustard, to the point that when I bought her gourmet mustard as a birthday gift, she reacted like I got her a diamond. She also likes eating food that is just past its supposed expiration date, which is just weird - even hobos preferred a fresh can of beans, when cooking dinner over a trash fire.

Anyway, this story is a cautionary tale. She’s working from my home today, and when I get back, I will be searching the kitchen for condiment jars, in case she has fallen down a dijon rabbit hole.

With this fridge photo flipped, you can see that each shelf in...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:24:23 -0800

With this fridge photo flipped, you can see that each shelf in the refrigerator is labeled with the types of food that supposedly go there. It’s like Sean’s Fridge was stocked by Dick Thompson, under orders from Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. Sadly, there is no “Root Beer” label, but maybe there should be.

seansfridge: more specifically, all the the best food in sean’s...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:20:06 -0800

seansfridge:

more specifically, all the the best food in sean’s fridge mashed on the top shelf.

pickles

root beer

mustard

tapatio

beer is there too, but the root beer bottle is hiding it. that fat bastard

I’m at the office right now, but it appears that in my absence, my refrigerator has joined Tumblr.

Signs of a quality neighborhood bar, Part Three: An autographed...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:44:45 -0800

Signs of a quality neighborhood bar, Part Three: An autographed head shot of Jon Polito.

Signs of a quality neighborhood bar, Part Two: A weird framed...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:41:00 -0800

Signs of a quality neighborhood bar, Part Two: A weird framed photo of the cast of “The King of Queens.”

Signs of a quality neighborhood bar, Part One: Hand-operated Tim...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:36:38 -0800

Signs of a quality neighborhood bar, Part One: Hand-operated Tim Lincecum strikeout counter.

Episode 25 of Elevator to Space, in which we explore the night...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:09:24 -0800

Episode 25 of Elevator to Space, in which we explore the night life of the space elevator crew.

I mean, WTF?

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 02:03:28 -0800

alexbalk:

Dan COR-TAY-ZEE?